Confessional....

Okay, so I debated whether or not I was going to ever post this. I decided I would, considering it's a part of my lfie. And everyone knows a good blog is an honest blog :)

Anyhow.... I did something I promised myself I wouldn't do. And I remembered exactly why I promised I wouldn't do it.

A few weeks ago, I got reacquainted with an old "friend". He had a thing for me a looooooooooooooong time ago. And then I moved and we lost touch. We ran into each other two years ago, and once again, still had a thing for me. I had a boyfriend at the time (Cowboy Cassanova) so it didn't go anywhere. Well remember in my lately post under 2010 where I mentioned "I ran into an old friend"... yeah that's him. I went to the beach with my family and while riding around on the strip (yes, I know) I saw him. He had apparently moved to the beach for school. So we hung out some and talked a lot and I started to really like him. But with him being so far away, and me being the control freak I am, I decided it was best to not get involved and ended it. Then I met W.

Well, like I said, a few weeks ago we started talking again. Something put him on my mind and I texted him. DUMB. So for the past few weeks we've been texting constantly and talking on the phone. Posting cute little things on our facebooks, you know, high school stuff (haha). Anyways, for labor day weekend, V and I went to the beach and I hung out with him.

And ladies, here comes the EVEN DUMBER part. I started to fall a little. U G H. He was just so sweet and so caring towards me. He acted like he missed me and was so excited to see me. And then we laughed and had a great time together. Then Monday when it was time to go home, I made the mistake of asking him where this was going.... U G H. Here comes the let down. He is just "too busy with school and work" to have a girlfriend right now and it "wouldnt be fair" with us being so far apart. K A R M A. Thank you.

Idk what I was thinking. I mean, I don't want nor am I ready for a boyfriend right now. So why did I let him get to me? I guess it's because of the past we've had and with me finally moving out, I'd be able to come visit him and he could visit me. Or at least that's what I was telling myself. Either way, it was dumb. He's a great guy and I can't get mad at him for being honest. I guess when I came down and he had to work almost the whole time, he realized before I did that his schedule was too hectic even if I was there. Which would make it that much worse if I was gone. It just reminded me though of how much I DONT want a relationship right now. I love hanging out with friends and dates aren't off limits. But as far as me settling down and getting serious with someone, I won't do it unless I know it can go somewhere and it won't be a waste of time. I don't want another heart break after a wasted year.

So ladies, please, please, please, please, PLEASE don't let me get all emotionally attached to someone unless he is worth it. Thanks :)

Happy Friday-eve!