Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Lately . . .

So lately I've been thinking about how much my life has changed these past few years. So I kind of felt as though I should do a recap so that you guys could follow along with me.

One of the greatest years of my life. I finally told my good friend my true feelings for him and we had a "whirlwind romance". I learned so much about myself and life with him. It was the first real relationship I ever had. I was passionately in "puppy love" with him and had the time of my life. I had a huge group of terrific friends, most of my graduating class to be exact. We all got so close that year and just did so much together. I was strong and confident within myself. I turned 18 and got my first taste of what being an adult felt like. I graduated high school and moved out of my parents house and onto the college campus. I got my first breeze of freedom and independence. It's also the first year I truly experienced heart ache. I lost my grandfather that year and it literally brought me to my knees. I loved that man more than you could ever know and I always will. But losing him brought me back to my family and showed me who my real friends were. I got my first job and moved back home. I decided to take time away from school and try to figure out my life.

This year was insanity. I had my first time of "rebellion" against my parents and learned the hard way that they were'nt gonna stand for that. I wound up losing my car and my cell phone. So I had to get my own. It made me feel like a "big girl" for the first time ever though. My high school sweetheart and I decided to end things. He made some choices that were very serious and affected me in very negative ways. I had to make the choice to move on with life and let go of that relationship. I started a new relationship with a guy I always refer to as "cowboy cassanova". He swept me off my feet with his charm and good looks. He knew exactly what to say and do to make me fall hard for him. He's the first guy whose ever been able to come between my family and I. I had a serious rebellion at this time against my parents. I moved out of my house and in with him. Crazy, I know. He wasn't completely bad. In reality I don't think he's a bad person at all. We were just both young and wild and were wreckless together. We were like fire and gasoline. I learned so much from this relationship too. I learned that I have to do what makes me happy, and I can't live my life for others. I also learned to stand up for myself, and I finally saw what life was like without my family ... not good. But I did have a lot of fun that year.

In 2010 I had the worst break up of my life. It was hard to leave "cowboy cassanova". But it was for the best. I made amends with my parents and moved back home. Right after moving back home, we went on our annual family beach trip and I had the time of my life! I made a bond with my cousin K and my little brother that year that I will cherish forever. I got back into my strong bond with my parents because I realized that no matter what they will always love me and be there for me. I finally listened to their advice, and though I never like to admit it, they were right! I'm so glad they were! I ran into an old friend and I'm so glad I did! I met V and F and made lifelong friendships with the two of them that I will cherish forever. I got  very close to my lovlely friend J and we helped each other through hard points in our lives. I had the time of my life being single and making new friends. I got reacquainted with God and got back into church. I met some amazing people and made terrific and loving bonds with strong christians who I know will always be there for me. And I met a man who would forever change my life. I fell hard and fast in love with an amazing man and his wonderful family. I learned what it was like to love and to be loved whole heartedly. I grew up in ways I never thought imaginable. I met so many great people through him, who I still hold close to my heart.

This year so far has been a roller coaster of events and emotions. I watched three great women marry the men of their dreams. I was there when one of my great friends found out she was preggo with her baby girl. I got engaged. I turned 21, which was amazing! I also lost one of my good friends to some stupid drama, but it brought me closer to V. I learned just how much my family meant to me, and how much I should cherish them, when both of my great-grandmothers got sick at the same time. Life is short, so take advantage of the time you have with people before it's too late. I also ended an engagement with someone who I loved dearly, because I loved him enough to let him go. He and his family will always be special to me, and I still love them unconditionally. I got a new job at SCBT and realized finally what I wanted to do with my life! I reached all of the goals I made for myself, and it feels amazing. And the best part of this year so far, is that I set out on this amazing journey to find myself. Who I truly am, not who someone else wants me to be. I started this little blog and so far, it has been life changing. I have encountered some terrific women on here whose stories have helped me in so many ways that I can't even put it into words. Mainly these two ladies. Right now, I'm perfectly content with exactly where my life is. I love all the people I have in it. And I absolutely love where my life is going. I can't wait to see what's in store for me these last few months!