Friday, July 29, 2011

Cinderella story in real life

"Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, Every story we're told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe... it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is... just... moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope."
-He's Just Not That Into You-

Last night V and I went to see Friends With Benefits, great movie by the way. It was a romantic comedy that I could finally relate to in some way. I related mostly to Mila Kunis's character Jamie. She is a girl who has a tough exterior, but on the inside, she is in love with being in love. She is mezmorized with the thought of a fairytale kind of love story. Which we all know, doesn't actually exist in reality. Time after time, men reject her and hurt her. Yet time after time, she falls for their "talk". It's like a never ending cycle. Until one day her "prince charming" saves her in the most unconventional way. 

I'm so much like Jamie. I'm so in love with the idea of being in love. 

A girls entire life, we're taught that love is like a fairytale. Boy and girl meet, fall madly in love, defeat the evil, and live happily ever after. All the movies, stories, and especially Disney are guilty of polluting our minds with this skewed unrealistic version of reality. Because we all know that love isn't like that at all. Love is hard. It doesn't make sense. It hurts sometimes, and other times it drives us absolutely mad. It makes us laugh, it makes us cry. It drags us through hell and back, through all kinds of loops in between. It's a fight to the bitter end. There is no such thing as happily ever after. It's a work in progress throughout the entirety of the relationship. 

So why bother? Well, I'll tell you why. Because when you finally find that true one. That "prince charming' if you will, he will be worth the hard work necessary that you have to put in to make a relationship work. And he will be willing to put the work in equally on his part. I'm not saying it will always be like this. there will be times where it might be 60/40 or 70/30, but all in all there will be an effort from both sides. Love is never easy. But nothing in life worth having ever is. 

'So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day." -The Notebook

"We're gonna do what lovers do. We're gonna have a fight or two. But I aint ever changing my mind."

Long story short, fairytales aren't real. Happily ever after only last a little while. And love is hard. But when you find the one that is worth it, hold on forever.